Older Men

It wasn’t a deliberate strategy but looking back, we spent time in bars practising our technique. One night in the Collingwood, Tina was demonstrating how to eat crisps lasciviously. This went on for some time, with the rest of us giving her useful pointers (like don’t wipe the crumbs from round your mouth. Lick them). We certainly caught some interested glances from Older Men. Then one of them sidled up with a conspiratorial wink and passed me a slip of paper. There was a message:
“I am a famous Hollywood film producer. Meet me under the Tyne bridge at midnight. Tell no-one”. I winked right back at him and tucked it into my imagined cleavage. I had that note pinned to my bedroom wall for months.

One night at the University theatre we were reduced to helpless hysteria by Ellen who had attracted an Older Man to our table. The conversation was pretty trivial and when she went to the ladies he moved away, but beckoned her over to sit with him. She certainly charmed him as we tittered in our corner. Phone numbers were exchanged (at least one genuine) and she returned to us glowing. We were agog to know what he’d said:
“You’re so much more mature than your friends”